FREDDY-THE-LOSER

This week’s tidbit is entitled—

“But It Was A Sure Thing !”

On a tip from his broker, after several weeks of watching the spread between a wildly bouncing stock and its soon-to-expire warrant, my preverbal friend Freddy-the-loser, cashed in his CDs and spouting, “It’s like shooting duck in a barrel!” jumped in—

He bought a bundle of the stock at 10 and sold “short” an equal bundle of its warrants at 5 (exercisable at 15)

With Freddy aboard, stock and warrant took off  like two bucking broncos. Finally, after surviving a triple bypass —missing his daughter’s wedding—and a score of near-fatal bouts with blood pressure and mini-strokes, the witching hour drew near—the stock nicely sitting at 12, and its warrant had but a week to live. Six days in, chest pains returned—the warrant was rising!—the stock sinking!

With three days to go the warrant is sitting (unbelievably) at 6 and the stock at 9!

Now losing a million on both ends, grasping his broker’s lapel, gasping Freddy screeches out to him, “What shall I do!”

Stymied and stuttering, the broker shrugged, “I -I told ya it had a thin market. Some son-of-a-bitch has cornered it!

Clutching his chest, with one final gasp, an hour before his warrants, Freddy expired! 

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